This program is ALL about mental and emotional integration.
We all have the blueprints of perception that were handed to us by our caregivers in our early life. The belief systems about ourselves and the world that have shaped how we see ourselves, how we see the world, how we interact with ourselves and what we believe to be possible for ourselves in this lifetime.
We all have our coping, self sabotaging, scapegoat, numbing and stimulating behaviors. Our addictions.
We have our negative emotions, deep fears, anxiety, depression and unprocessed feelings.
We all have our bodies which may feel pain, disconnection and like an impediment to the joyful life we wish to live.
IN this curriculum, everything you've been taught about 'what's wrong with you' will be turned on it's head.
You will be shown how all the parts of yourself you think are 'bad' right now - all parts of you that you feel shame towards, that you have guilt about, that you feel are ruining your life - are actually deeply GOOD parts.
They are TRAUMATIZED, not broken. They were not given the love, support and nourishment they needed to GROW into healthy, adult aspects - and thus they have stayed stuck in immaturity.
In this course you will be deeply working with the STORIES of shame, blame and guilt you have about yourself and this world so that you can finally set yourself free from the never ending 'self help/improvement' treadmill. You will be given the keys for how to INTEGRATE the traumas that have shaped your perception of self and the world, so that you can actually gather a CLEAR perspective.
With this clear perspective you will be able to discover the NEEDS you have under your 'bad' behaviors. You will be able to discover your TRUE nature - the parts of you that have been cast into the shadow via needing to survive your childhood environment - so that you can finally feel at HOME in your own body and life. You will be taught how to actually FEEL your emotions so that they can INFORM you in ways the intellect never can. You will be guided, step by step in becoming your own safe place, so that all parts of you can GROW into the mature 'higher you' you've always wanted to become.
You will learn how becoming your own safe place is the FOUNDATION for figuring out WHY you do what you do, figuring out what you really need, and figuring out how to GET what you need so that you no longer need to cope, numb, stimulate or self sabotage. You will be MATURING all of these parts of yourself while learning to VALIDATE who and what you really are - wether the world around you approves or not.
Course Curriculum
- Welcome
- How To Navigate This Course
- Tips For Moving Through This Material
- Protocols For Nervous System Overwhelm
- Quick Access Meditations Playlist
- Before You Start: Why Going Slow IS Going Fast (72:56)
- A Map Of The Territory
- When In Doubt/Overwhelm/Looking For A Specific Answer
- How To Establish A Daily Practice/How To Get The MOST Out Of The School
- Working Through These Videos
- Guided Meditation For FEELING
- There Is Nothing Wrong With You - And Why That Matters
- Why We Resist The Idea Of Not Being Broken
- Guided Meditation For SELF COMPASSION
- Loving The Non-Broken Self
- Why FEELING Is The Key To INTEGRATION (Healing) Part One
- Why FEELING Is The Key To Integration Part Two
- Why What You Think Is “Wrong” With You Is Actually Who You Are
- Guided Meditation For RESISTANCE: Part One
- Why I Live This Life
- My Philosophy: Increasing Integrity To Increase Experience
- Progress Not Perfection: My Philosophy Part Two
- All About The Big Picture: My Philosophy Part Three
- Why The Rejection Was Key To Core Curriculum
- Guided Meditation For RESISTANCE: Part Two:
- Learning From Pain: Part One Of Mastery
- Embracing Emotional Learning: Part Two Of Mastery
- Why What’s Wrong With You Is What’s Right With You
- How I Learned To Find My 'Higher Self' In All The 'Broken' Parts Of Me.
- We Do This Work To Become OURSELVES Not A Version Of Us We Think Is Right/Good/Worthy
- What We Do With This Information
- True Pain/Pleasure VS Consensus Reality Pain/Pleasure
- Trusting The Self You Were Trained To Reject
- What Is ‘Living In Alignment?’
- Why The ONLY Alignment Is Alignment From HERE
- What TRUE Self Love Is All About
- The Difference Between LOVING Your Self Sabotage/Coping Mechanisms and INDULGING Them
- Why Your Coping Mechanisms/Self Sabotage Are MORE ORDERED Than Your Intellect
- Embracing Self Sabotage As A Teacher
- Revisiting The Paradox Of Self Love - You Aren’t Fixing But You Are Going To Change
- How I Applied The Paradox Of Self Love To Evolve Harmful Behavior
- This Work Is About YOU, Not Them, (Yet)
- My Personal Experience With Self Love VS. Loving Others
- Why Loving Our Shame Is The Key To Growth
- Loving Shame To Evolve
- A Deeper Look At PAIN
- It’s Not My Fault, But It’s My Responsibility
- Society Taught You To Be Destructive (It’s Not Your Fault)
- Why You Will Never Shame Yourself Well
- Why Pain And Pleasure Mean You Don’t Need Shame
- Using Self Love/Healing Practices To Stay Stuck
- Our Learning Trauma Hiding Our Feeling State
- The Anxiety/Existential Dread/Fear Of This Awakening
- You Don’t NEED Shame, But You Must LEARN To Live Without It
- You Can Learn From Real Reality, But You Must Feel Safe First
- THIS Is Your Entry Point Into True Reality
- Safety First: Why Self Love IS The Only Answer
- Becoming Aware Of Your FEELING STATE
- Three Step Process For Becoming Aware Of Your Feeling State
- What Am I Making This Mean?
- What Am I Making This Mean? Starting With Finding Clarity
- The Intellect May Have It Far To Simple - Feeling Is The Key To Evolution
- What Am I Making This Mean? Sitting In The Unknown
- What Am I Making This Mean? Following Fear All The Way Through
- What Am I Making This Mean? Honoring The Trauma And What Hurts In Our Lives
- What Am I Making This Mean? Coping - Nervous System - Rejection Trauma - An Overview
- What Am I Making This Mean? Understanding The Process Of Self Sabotage - Nervous System Awareness
- What Am I Making This Mean? How To Love Self Sabotage/Coping Enough To Get Into Your Nervous System
- What Am I Making This Mean? My Personal Experience With Loving My Coping
- Introduction
- ALL Of Your Current Pain Is ROOTED In Childhood Trauma
- The Foundational Tools For Questioning Your Own Perception
- Safety First
- Pain, Pleasure, Shame, Acceptance
- Enter SHAME/Toxic Pain And The Inner Critic
- Developing The Observer Into The Inner Loving Parent
- Connecting With True Guidance Will Not Feel Good At First
- Change Doesn’t Mean You Were Wrong And Bad Before: Why Your Shame And Guilt Make Sense To You But Are Not True
- The TRUE Problem And Why Fitting In Won’t Fix It
- The Shame That Came From Unawareness
- We Are Only Aware Of The Pain We Are Complex Enough To Handle
- The Stories You Have Make Sense For A Reason:
- Why Depending Upon Programs Keeps Us Stuck
- The Truth About Learning Trauma/Learning Trauma Types
- This Make You Believe In ‘Broken’ And Needing To ‘Fix’
- We Were All Traumatized In Different Ways
- Why You Think YOU Are Bad
- YOU Were Right - Your Caregivers Were WRONG
- Our Emotions Are The Key
- We Were SUPPOSED To Have Been Taught About Reality In Childhood
- Now You Must Re-Parent Yourself
- Without Love We Have Only Pattern
- Change Is Going To Be Scary: Make Room For That
- The True Definition Of Trauma: Why You Still Act Like A Child No Matter How Much You Know
- We Can’t 'Un-Traumtize' Ourselves
- HOW To Walk Ourselves Through This?
- The Trauma Of Relationships
- Turning A Trauma Based Relationship Into An Awareness Based One
- Putting The Theory Together
- What Am I Making This Mean: Safety Safety Safety
- What Am I Making This Mean: Developing The Witness From The Inner Critic
- Grieving Your Childhood Part One
- Grieving Your Childhood Part Two
- How I Grieved My Childhood: Part One
- How I Grieved My Childhood: Part Two
- Why Validating Your Painful Associations Is KEY To Evolution
- Discovering The Needs Under Your Neuroses
- Why We Get Blocked Part One
- Why We Get Blocked Part Two
- Admitting Your Own Needs And Wants - Why This Is So SCARY
- Displaced Desire Practice
- My Experience With Displaced Desires
- Your Needs Are Something You Have Never Seen Before
- Discovering Your True Needs
- Feeling Your Victim Nature: Why It’s So Important
- Embracing Your Victim Nature
- Anger At Your Caregivers
- Sadness For Yourself
- Why Compassion For Yourself Is Going To Be SO SCARY
- Why ‘It’s Not My Fault” Doesn’t Mean No Power
- What Taking Responsibility REALLY Looks Like
- Why It’s NOT About What’s Happening RIGHT NOW
- If This Work Is Making Your Life Worse
- Introduction
- Getting Worse Before It Gets Better
- Practicing The Tools Before Expecting The Tools To Work
- Noticing Scapegoats, Coping And Self Sabotage From Self Love
- Scapegoats
- Self Sabotage
- Coping Mechanisms
- Identifying Rejected/Lost Parts Of Self
- Noticing Existential Fear/Wired Nervous System
- The Tools: Mental AND Physical - Both Together
- Mental Tool One: If It Hurts It’s Too Simple - And It’s Not Your Fault That It Hurts
- Mental Tool Two: What Am I Making This Mean? Theory And Examples
- Mental Tool Two: What Am I Making This Mean? Step By Step Process
- Intro
- Moving Into Techniques For Accessing Your Emotional Messages
- When Self Love Triggers Abandonment Wounds (60:04)
- Present Moment Safety Meditation
- Inner Child Recall Meditation
- Inner Child Being Rescued By Another Meditation
- Inner Child Being Rescued By You Meditation
- Loving The Traumatized Inner Parent
- Your Trauma Is Not BASED In Your Current Reality, But It Is Happening In Your Current Reality
- Mental Tool Number Three: A New Relationship With Desire
- True Pain Vs. False Guilt/Shame
- All Of Your Current Problems Are Rooted In Your Trauma
- Being With Feelings And Not Reacting Practice
- Dropping Into FEELING Meditation
- Becoming The Observer Meditation
- Becoming A COMPASSIONATE Observer
- Displaced Desire Mediation: Getting The Message
- Feeling The Future You Meditation
- Feeling The Future You: Phase Two
- Letting The Feeling Move Through Practices
- HOW To Handle Guilt And Shame: Awareness
- HOW To Handle Guilt And Shame: Curiosity
- HOW To Handle Guilt And Shame: Compassion
- Using Your Awareness Against Yourself
- Pure Unconditional Love Meditation
- How To Validate/Express/Explore WITHOUT Acting On Trauma Based Impulses
- Meditation: Giving All Parts Seat At The Table
- Anger At Everything: Feeling The Healing Fire
- The Anger/Hopelessness Spiral: How To Navigate It
- What Processing Anger REALLY Looks Like
- Feeling The Fear And Doing It Anyway
- Reprogramming The Nervous System: Practical Application (64:49)
- The Fatigue Of Self Suppression
- Embracing The PATH: No Destination
- Pause, Curiosity, Neutrality, Like, Love
- Subconsciously Living To Prove Your Caregivers Correct
- Living For Yourself: Building New Foundations
- Bringing Practical Order To Your Life
- Unravelling Codependency
- The 6 Steps To Unravelling Codependency
- Dealing With Needing Them To Know/Understand Your Pain/What They Did To You
- Where This Work Is Taking You: A View Of Adulthood
- Summation
- Final Group Meeting (59:40)